tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37555254023644862852024-02-06T21:36:44.036-05:00Mississauga CounsellingLesley Timbolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15016996923825293734noreply@blogger.comBlogger39125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3755525402364486285.post-24391366134833443522022-05-11T09:04:00.002-04:002022-05-11T09:04:16.383-04:00Are Bodybuilders Crazy?<p> By Lesley Timbol</p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPNYXixwLPleFdL50MTpwJTTFzB0N1y5F3K8QzWVH3OD92TqCC4Kkedz0_1C1z4hQyJyTI2mPpFE-icfhdwA9uXBWw6dVDbuR19jhHzU_34tGZK_LEb-9IAwJQqUYb7sPqXSjLmG6VJOIuq1GHcSExW86a1Xna-d5knwT9txct-OcryWI9t1UaEuMh/s600/Fight%20the%20Stigma%20MH%20Awareness%20(1).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPNYXixwLPleFdL50MTpwJTTFzB0N1y5F3K8QzWVH3OD92TqCC4Kkedz0_1C1z4hQyJyTI2mPpFE-icfhdwA9uXBWw6dVDbuR19jhHzU_34tGZK_LEb-9IAwJQqUYb7sPqXSjLmG6VJOIuq1GHcSExW86a1Xna-d5knwT9txct-OcryWI9t1UaEuMh/s320/Fight%20the%20Stigma%20MH%20Awareness%20(1).jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p>I’m not going to even attempt to sugar coat this. Yes bodybuilders are crazy but allow me to unpack this statement.</p><div><div><br /></div><div>It could be considered crazy to train as hard as we do, to adhere to a strict meal plan, to regularly look at ourselves in the mirror trying to perfect our poses, to make the financial investment we do before & during a prep as well as everything leading up to show day, to compete and to put our minds and bodies through this process more than once.</div><div><br /></div><div>The average, “normal”, individual doesn’t want their flaws highlighted. So what woman, for example, in her right mind goes onstage wearing a glammed up, skimpy bikini only to be compared to other women on a stage and panel of judges to be marked and rated for her physical appearance and marked down for all of her flaws?</div><div><br /></div><div>Doesn’t that seem just a tad on the crazy side?</div><div><br /></div><div>But seriously, there is a pay off for all of this. While there may be some differences, we all have our “why’s” for competing which go beyond winning.</div><div><br /></div><div>Having said that, there’s also a price and oftentimes more than one price to be paid for this ambitious endeavour.</div><div><br /></div><div>Take a moment to think about, and really appreciate, the craziness of this sport, regardless of gender or bodybuilding category. </div><div><br /></div><div>So is it any wonder that many competitive bodybuilders experience some mental struggles? </div><div><br /></div><div>And the mental struggles are quite varied. The theme tends to be around your self esteem, in that your confidence can take a beating in different forms.</div><div><br /></div><div>How often do bodybuilders check social media? If a bodybuilder makes a social media post and they get responses that aren’t positive, how does that affect that bodybuilder (especially on low carb day)?</div><div><br /></div><div>What about checking out other bodybuilders’ social media pics, especially your fellow competitors, as the show draws closer? Does that get in your head? Are you doing comparisons? How does that affect your mindset, training, and adherence to the peak week game plan?</div><div><br /></div><div>While it’s normal to have some anxiety, there’s a point that the anxiety becomes overwhelming and it can negatively affect our choices, i.e., emotional under or over eating, overdoing the cardio if you’re not as lean as you would like especially as you draw closer to show day, avoiding the bigger shows as the pressure is too much for you to bear, going off plan in any way as your mind gravitates towards the worse case scenarios, and of course something I call “competition brain”, which involves looking at yourself especially during peak week and seeing every flaw no matter how small and making the flaw bigger in your mind than what it really is. A slight variation of this is muscle dysmorphia, which are thoughts that your body is too small despite having a muscular build.</div><div><br /></div><div>How many of us have gotten injured at one point or another? What about getting injured close to a show? What about sustaining an injury that prevents you from competing? Think of the mental number that can do to any bodybuilder.</div><div><br /></div><div>What about coming into the show all fired up, looking the best you’ve looked to date, and you didn’t place as you anticipated? There can only be 1 person who wins but how does second place feel or the others? How do you process that?</div><div><br /></div><div>Some don’t process those experiences well at all. In fact, they internalize them into messages of feeling “not good enough”. This can lead their minds down the proverbial rabbit hole and into depressive thoughts and behaviours.</div><div><br /></div><div>I’m sure you’ve heard of post-show blues. Leading up to the show, we’re machines. We have a strict routine from the time we wake up until the time we go to sleep. After the show, the routines become lax. Initially it’s nice but then laziness can set in and the associated consequences of poor food choices for prolonged periods of time, prolonged periods of time away from the gym, and no next goal can have detrimental effects to both our physique, health, and mindset.</div><div><br /></div><div>Now answer me this question: Is bodybuilding more physical or more mental? Is competing more physical or more mental?</div><div><br /></div><div>While there is most certainly a physical component to it, many bodybuilders don’t typically struggle the most with the training. If anything, like the example above when a bodybuilder sustains an injury, the issue transitions to a more mental one with the frustration of not being able to train to one’s potential and even falling behind schedule or being unable to compete.</div><div><br /></div><div>Consider this. Bodybuilders hire coaches to help them with their training. Coaches are also hired to help with their meal plans both on and off season. Bodybuilders even hire coaches to help them with posing. These areas are all important.</div><div><br /></div><div>But there is one massive area missing.</div><div><br /></div><div>Why are bodybuilders not investing in the mental piece when doing a prep?</div><div><br /></div><div>Look at Olympic athletes. You’re talking about the best of the best worldwide in various sports. Is what these Olympic athletes do physical? Yes! But many also hire mental game coaches and psychotherapists.</div><div><br /></div><div>It comes down to this.</div><div><br /></div><div>Do you want to win? </div><div><br /></div><div>Don’t just say yes. Are you willing to cover all of your bases?</div><div><br /></div><div>If yes, then fill in that gap in your training and address the mental challenges both personally and professionally as an athlete.</div><div><br /></div><div>Not only can I help you personally, as I’m a Registered Psychotherapist, but I can also help you with the mental challenges that go with competing, as I’m a certified Mental Game Coach for athletes. Moreover, as a competitive Women’s Physique competitor, I can relate so yeah I’m a triple threat. :-)</div><div><br /></div><div>Now I appreciate some coaches can help to some degree with the mental piece but respectfully, without the formal training, they are not specialised. Think of it like this. If you have a specific problem, would you prefer to see the family doctor or a specialist in the area of your issue?</div><div><br /></div><div>Do you want an edge over your competition? It’s not a pill; I’ll tell you that.</div><div><br /></div><div>The choice is yours so choose well.</div><div><br /></div><div>Choose to gain a mental edge over your competition.</div><div><br /></div><div>If you would like to learn how to address mental health challenges, both personally and/or in your prep, please text me at (416) 805-6155 or email me at lesley@timbol.ca so that I can give you concrete strategies tailored to you so that you can truly bring your best package to the stage!</div></div>FranFranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272601475728113963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3755525402364486285.post-81771773993183864292021-11-02T11:48:00.004-04:002021-11-02T11:48:31.901-04:00Stay In Your Lane<p><i> By Lesley Timbol </i></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgt1Lv5xk-zQn0ayUwG2vdRjaCElvqLx9cgICwS-ueYZ1-n-EQuWIJynAJGRpfJVOKXDkyZk353NSypkga2g0koWe8qNniwMQBR1dC0e14lqhnK3fkd-ENGliOwlSf_YVCgPPwbL-ZZH4T-kFD_-vRZNhe-plIZPHbP6QGix4RW3xFtfgjpCtjx3Li-=s1599" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1196" data-original-width="1599" height="468" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgt1Lv5xk-zQn0ayUwG2vdRjaCElvqLx9cgICwS-ueYZ1-n-EQuWIJynAJGRpfJVOKXDkyZk353NSypkga2g0koWe8qNniwMQBR1dC0e14lqhnK3fkd-ENGliOwlSf_YVCgPPwbL-ZZH4T-kFD_-vRZNhe-plIZPHbP6QGix4RW3xFtfgjpCtjx3Li-=w627-h468" width="627" /></a></div><br /><i><br /></i><p></p><p>Do you compare yourself to others on social media? Do you care how many followers you have on Instagram? How do you feel if you don’t get many likes on a post or youtube clip?</p><p>My advice: stay in your lane.</p><p>Your lane will look different than someone else’s and that’s okay. Think about what makes YOU unique? What do YOU bring to the table? What can others learn from YOU?</p><p>Your lane sets you apart from others. Your uniqueness will help you create or develop your brand. </p><p>Be authentically you and others will notice and be drawn to you.</p><p>What are your strengths? Do you know how to capitalize on those? Do you have a strategy on addressing your weaknesses?</p><p>Avoid the comparisons to others otherwise you run the risk of going down ‘the rabbit hole’ of doubt, insecurity, not feeling “good enough”, “worthy enough”, and second guessing yourself to the point of losing confidence and potentially giving up.</p><p>Focus on your path, your specific targets and strategies to actualize your goals. </p><p>Focus on you, not others.</p><p>Focus on what you need to do today, right now.</p><p>Commit to taking action.</p><p>Avoid overanalyzing your situation or you may become stuck and not take action.</p><p>Remember a mistake is only a mistake if you don’t learn from it.</p><p>Learning transforms the mistake into a lesson which gives you the knowledge and power to make a different choice and that choice can be made now.</p><p>For all of you high achievers, continue to climb. Become better versions of yourself.</p><p>For all of you athletes, avoid comparing your weaknesses to your competitor’s strengths. In a competition environment, you are compared to your opponents but remember it’s the overall package and/or performance that is judged so focus on highlighting your strengths.</p><p>Comparing yourself to others is a distraction. Distractions cause you to cross lanes, make errors in perception and judgement and potentially end up in a proverbial ditch.</p><p>So I encourage you to stay in your lane, stay focused, and let your strengths shine!</p><div><br /></div>FranFranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272601475728113963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3755525402364486285.post-20017874078621386942021-10-01T11:10:00.002-04:002021-10-01T11:10:39.808-04:00Awaken the Warrior<p><i>By Fearless Motivation</i></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh44Fg0Y9EKQBI4fnrmtdsXrF5bZ8mVXKoxVweg6bS4wGhBDqhFf-eWcvMURWCCRAcUhJC64RIAWavsPo4mVxva54-eyD4hCQ6tvL4NwNVfqn7A9Z4B6Uzb8Iweo7N47EaLMOCfYAmR7XpZlPR6m0HDnH91a4psH9RkT39vChYb_Q5gEkfxHOW5zDJp=s1200" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="905" data-original-width="1200" height="301" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh44Fg0Y9EKQBI4fnrmtdsXrF5bZ8mVXKoxVweg6bS4wGhBDqhFf-eWcvMURWCCRAcUhJC64RIAWavsPo4mVxva54-eyD4hCQ6tvL4NwNVfqn7A9Z4B6Uzb8Iweo7N47EaLMOCfYAmR7XpZlPR6m0HDnH91a4psH9RkT39vChYb_Q5gEkfxHOW5zDJp=w400-h301" width="400" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p><p>The devil whispered:</p><p>"You cannot withstand the storm."</p><p>The warrior replied:</p><p>"I am the storm."</p><p>You are a warrior.</p><p>You will get through the storm.</p><p>You will show the storm who's boss.</p><p>You will show everyone you are stronger than all things that have hurt you.</p><p>You are stronger than your past.</p><p>You are stronger than the challenges coming in your future.</p><p>You will tell yourself:</p><p>"I don't invite life's challenges but I don't back down from them either."</p><p>I know we all face tough times.</p><p>I know I am not exempt from life's struggles.</p><p>But I know I am strong.</p><p>I know this will pass.</p><p>I know there will be better days.</p><p>But only if I keep fighting.</p><p>Like a warrior.</p><p>Fighting with all my heart.</p><p>The heart of a lion.</p><p>The strength I have is like no other.</p><p>I am not a survivor.</p><p>I am a warrior.</p><p>I don't survive.</p><p>I thrive.</p><p>I can do this and I will get through this.</p><p>I make the best of bad situations.</p><p>I see the opportunity in the struggle.</p><p>I grow strength from my hardships.</p><p>I am thankful for my hard times, they make me stronger.</p><p>I am thankful for the pain, it makes me raise my game.</p><p>I am grateful for the worst of times, it ensures my story will be a great one.</p><p><br /></p><p>From zero to hero.</p><p>From nothing to something.</p><p>From the bottom to the top.</p><p>Here I come!</p><p> </p><p>Warriors are built from the struggle, formed from pain, strengthened by adversity.</p><p>Embrace your challenges and push through them like the warrior you are!</p><p> </p>FranFranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272601475728113963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3755525402364486285.post-47008903879291790812021-07-13T10:14:00.003-04:002021-07-13T10:14:39.863-04:00Do You Make This Choice?<p> Life can be hard. Life presents us with obstacles … a lot of them. Sometimes it can be overwhelming.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO1mv1ALtUZZ6kWyuVnsstTm_WbvXwjcYnyccFzmmNfc5awDFyJsu3jPH5r5-XWK9Unrx5sHSOAcworSrVCnxip22x554teVr7e-lurE0NMDKs-M_alq5QVJJJdTF7N8DfeDNGDokMRrA/s1024/difficult+road.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="682" data-original-width="1024" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgO1mv1ALtUZZ6kWyuVnsstTm_WbvXwjcYnyccFzmmNfc5awDFyJsu3jPH5r5-XWK9Unrx5sHSOAcworSrVCnxip22x554teVr7e-lurE0NMDKs-M_alq5QVJJJdTF7N8DfeDNGDokMRrA/w640-h426/difficult+road.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p><p>We want to have some semblance of control over our lives. But when life throws us a curve ball so to speak, how do we respond? Do we duck? Do we get hit and get knocked down? Do we stay down? Do we get up?</p><p>Some things that happen to us we cannot control; however, we can control our responses. We get to make a choice on how we process that obstacle. Do we run from it? Do we try to pretend it’s not there? Do we deal with it head on? </p><p>Do we use that obstacle or be used and battered by it?</p><p>Oftentimes obstacles are gifts. At the time, we don’t see them as gifts. If anything, they’re perceived as a curse.</p><p>Obstacles can be used as a tool to propel us forward or keep us at a standstill or even regress.</p><p>It’s our choice. </p><p>We can have the obstacles proactively work for us or become passive and have the obstacles work against us.</p><p>How do we make that choice?</p><p>One word: mindset. Your mindset will determine whether or not you will achieve your goals when life presents obstacles. </p><p>Everyday you are offered many choices: take the easy road or the more difficult one resulting in success. By taking the uphill road, you will be pushed to your limits and end up pushing yourself past your self perceived limitations.</p><p>Ask yourself: are you going to be among the 3% that didn’t give up? Your mindset will determine this resulting in whether you will be remembered or forgotten. What is your preference?</p><p>Do you have some fight left within you? Is there more in you? Can you give more?</p><p>Choose to fight the obstacles. </p><p>Choose to extract the lessons learned from this fight and use it to propel you past every perceived limitation and challenge.</p><p>And most of all, choose to build your legacy and be remembered!</p><div><br /></div>FranFranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272601475728113963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3755525402364486285.post-21119151287775334402021-05-28T10:02:00.008-04:002021-06-03T14:19:52.651-04:00What Separates Elite Athletes from the Rest?<p><i>By Dr. Patrick Cohn at Peak Performance Sports, LLC.</i></p><p><br /></p><p>How do elite athletes separate themselves from other athletes? How do they see themselves?</p><p>Some athletes define themselves by their limitations, "I'm shorter than most basketball players," "I'm not as fast as other players on the soccer field," or "I don't have enough speed on my fastball to play college baseball."</p><p>When you are focused on limitations or weaknesses, your level of work and preparation will suffer.</p><p>Size, ability, and strength are valuable attributes but are not the game changing factors that make athletes elite. </p><p>For example, many tennis players had great careers despite not having overpowering strokes. Athletes have made names for themselves by out-hustling other competitors.</p><p>What launches athletes to the next level is WORK!</p><p> Putting in the work is not limited to working hard in practice. Work also includes preparation (diet, flexibility, strength training) and, most importantly, mental work (confidence building, focusing skills, managing stress, etc).</p><p>When you put in the mental work, you learn technical skills quicker and you are better able to replicate those skills under the pressure of competition.</p><p>When you put in the mental work, you will maximize your abilities and reach more of your potential.</p><p>When you put in the mental work, you perform more consistently and at a higher level.</p><p>When you put in the mental work, you are able to meet the demands of competing at a higher level.</p><p>Often, the mental aspects, the factors that contribute most to optimal performance, are neglected. Adding mental skills training to your existing work regimen boosts your performance to a new level and helps you achieve more of your potential.</p><p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeopnKOhqrUHZrCO65QuYQpQf09-PhDROfuebSG1x9HPIi5ht3zDIScmSVaBxX7nuvaBU8BCBzIAUl3BnqOCMHBwD3XYn6zXPO-KWCTuq3dwo-yAI0SIex2f_LUZVS1sCe8c9cEDgKv3k/s826/successful+brain.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="470" data-original-width="826" height="364" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeopnKOhqrUHZrCO65QuYQpQf09-PhDROfuebSG1x9HPIi5ht3zDIScmSVaBxX7nuvaBU8BCBzIAUl3BnqOCMHBwD3XYn6zXPO-KWCTuq3dwo-yAI0SIex2f_LUZVS1sCe8c9cEDgKv3k/w640-h364/successful+brain.png" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p><b>Doing the Mental Work:</b></p><p>Just as your coach has a seasonal plan for your training, you should create a seasonal plan for your mental training.</p><p>What mental skills will benefit you most? How will you develop these skills? Where will you engage in mental training? What resources will you utilize to improve your mental game?</p><p>Once the physical training is complete and it's time to compete, that's when the mental work pays off. Mental training is just as important, and some may argue more important, than the physical training. Don’t neglect it!</p><p> </p>FranFranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272601475728113963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3755525402364486285.post-58799567882944834242021-04-23T10:39:00.001-04:002021-04-23T10:39:07.646-04:00How Athletes Can Stay Active During Covid<p><i>By Dr. Patrick Cohn at Peak Performance Sports, LLC.</i></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNS6J2qeOktrcqEiLl-9PIwl2rLwhGyw9gHVYCLtMUAOlsViakKgoOiJSaD0uUS91RRbnso21XOs71A7AHFFk9UoIve8M4X7Mn9Tl1_4DQL_kd7IirOXt07xwf2jpUGzpYXKFMAejuxu8/s320/mental_muscle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="213" data-original-width="320" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNS6J2qeOktrcqEiLl-9PIwl2rLwhGyw9gHVYCLtMUAOlsViakKgoOiJSaD0uUS91RRbnso21XOs71A7AHFFk9UoIve8M4X7Mn9Tl1_4DQL_kd7IirOXt07xwf2jpUGzpYXKFMAejuxu8/w640-h426/mental_muscle.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><i><br /></i><p></p><p>How do you feel when your training regimen is disrupted? More importantly, what do you do when your training regimen is interrupted?</p><p>Injuries, illnesses, inclement weather, facility shutdowns and vacations are some circumstances that can disrupt an athlete's training or competing.</p><p>Uncontrollable circumstances, such as an injury, can spur several thoughts that create anxiety for an athlete and hurt their confidence.</p><p>For example, if you had a second-degree ankle sprain, you may have many questions regarding your training:</p><p>* When can I resume training?</p><p>* Will my season be over?</p><p>* Am I going to fall behind my teammates who are still training?</p><p>* Will a couple of weeks off affect my strength and conditioning?</p><p>* Will my skills decline? Will my timing be off?</p><p>* How will I be able to catch up to my teammates and how long will it take before I can compete?</p><p>When you focus on the things you cannot do because of an uncontrollable circumstance, you will feel lost and helpless.</p><p>When your training is interrupted because of an unforeseen circumstance, you can still do something to stay physically and mentally active.</p><p>Case in point, the coronavirus has turned the world upside down and has left athletes to face many unknowns. The COVID-19 pandemic continues to disrupt training and competing for every athlete throughout the world. </p><p>The Olympics were pushed back, international competitions were halted, professional sports seasons were postponed and many college, high school and youth sports were cancelled.</p><p>Some athletes were left feeling lost and trapped in their homes without their daily training regimen, while other athletes found creative ways to train that were exciting and empowering, i.e., do research with nutrition and/or get into yoga as well as mobility and stretching.</p><p>We have learned from the pandemic that adversity can strike at any moment, causing a disruption of training. No matter what circumstances, you can always find creative ways to train.</p><p>When you focus on what you can do or what you can control, you gain a sense of empowerment, build confidence and become a more well-rounded athlete.</p><p>How to Train your Mind and Body:</p><p>Remember, there is always something you can do to improve your game when you are not practicing or playing:</p><p>*If you can't run, you can learn relaxation techniques.</p><p>*If you are injured, you can visualize performing in a competition.</p><p>*If you are stuck indoors during a snowstorm, you can do weight training.</p><p>*If you can't train, you can work on flexibility.</p><p>This is also a good time to look into mental training as well, even when you're not practising or playing. Be creative with ways to improve your game even when not practising.</p><p>If you need direction on how to stay active despite sport layoffs, please contact me at (416) 805-6155 or email me at lesley@timbol.ca so I can help you regain a sense of control, direction, focus as well as improving your game.</p>FranFranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272601475728113963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3755525402364486285.post-56406344179774839692021-03-13T22:51:00.003-05:002021-03-13T22:51:43.917-05:00The Difference Between Success & Failure<p><i>By Lesley Timbol (Adapted from various google searches)</i></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFPSnIhm6dl843Wun1Ue17wGnCmqQGeQ_Zpzse8sfoqgd5MCWAfac278tcyNAXCKCSW1hJvQXi7Xk8vRzU-NvUhKPtkn5_kOG8OR7Yn_nvDPuV3LND8Kk9B_ybxmD1LRXQvcGJhDqv0hw/s260/diff+btn+sucess+%2526+failure.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="260" data-original-width="260" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFPSnIhm6dl843Wun1Ue17wGnCmqQGeQ_Zpzse8sfoqgd5MCWAfac278tcyNAXCKCSW1hJvQXi7Xk8vRzU-NvUhKPtkn5_kOG8OR7Yn_nvDPuV3LND8Kk9B_ybxmD1LRXQvcGJhDqv0hw/w640-h640/diff+btn+sucess+%2526+failure.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p><br /></p><p>The difference between success and failure isn’t as simple as trying versus not trying.</p><p>The difference is not one thing. It’s in everything. </p><p>To be successful at something is to have a desire to do it. To be relentless in the pursuit of your goals and dreams. </p><p>What are you willing to sacrifice? Do you initially say ‘anything’ yet when challenged respond with ‘it’s too hard’? </p><p>With success, you push through the challenging times. You do it despite the difficulty. It may take longer but you persevere!</p><p>One of the differences between success and failure lies in executing on the little details. Are you willing to go the extra mile? Take that extra step? Realign your priorities? Create and set boundaries for yourself and others? That extra step is doing whatever it takes to get to your goal or target.</p><p>Not everyone is willing or able to sacrifice. Are you? </p><p>The difference lies in your response to failure. Most give up. Will you? Will you ‘cave in’?</p><p>Success is what comes after you have survived all of your failures.</p><p>You will have bad days. We all do but you have to fight through the bad days so that you can earn the best days of your life.</p><p>Success is what happens when you stick it out, grind it out, and show the character of a warrior, a winner, a champion.</p><p>The difference lies in your attitude. Many people are just robots just trying to get through the day.</p><p>It doesn’t matter what you do as long as you do it to the best of your ability.</p><p>To succeed is to want it more than others want it. You desire specific achievements. You’re willing to take risks and to make sacrifices for a dream only you can see.</p><p>Many will hesitate, debate, stumble and fall but not you. You’re all in. You’re committed.</p><p>The greatest risk in life is not taking any risks.</p><p>Michael Jordan has been quoted as saying, “You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.” </p><p>No risk? No reward. Nothing to learn and benefit from.</p><p>And therein lies the difference.</p><p>The difference between success and failure is in your persistence. </p><p>Never give up!</p><p>Every step forward gets you one step closer to your goal or dream, your potential for greatness.</p><p>Can you see it? </p><p>Many will say your dream is impossible … that is until you accomplish it.</p><p>Prove the naysayers wrong.</p><p>Get the job done. Be consistent. Be relentless. See it. Believe it. Follow the plan.</p><p>The difference between success and failure isn’t one thing.</p><p>It’s everything.</p>FranFranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272601475728113963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3755525402364486285.post-9140995775363163702021-02-16T08:49:00.002-05:002021-02-16T08:49:41.338-05:00I Am<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZQeEQYBpWVCyUhahpWkOnqjm-BnSHp6ofKQZE0u3fVREBWl3L1w_aeZITmx3Y5OdXhZHaQP048RiwGHQZVmIbE8Bume0HCzCruy0KUQM_bY2PB2Cig0jAQ_uiuc7qts_1dC8RJakEcEw/s596/scenery+with+rainbow+pic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="596" data-original-width="596" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZQeEQYBpWVCyUhahpWkOnqjm-BnSHp6ofKQZE0u3fVREBWl3L1w_aeZITmx3Y5OdXhZHaQP048RiwGHQZVmIbE8Bume0HCzCruy0KUQM_bY2PB2Cig0jAQ_uiuc7qts_1dC8RJakEcEw/w640-h640/scenery+with+rainbow+pic.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br />It’s possible to be powerful and yet small. Consider these 2 small words: I am. How are these words powerful? Because what comes after “I am” reflects your belief system, controls your decisions, and ultimately shapes your life.<p></p><p>If you can say, “I am powerful”, such that you are capable of achieving your goals, you will make choices and behave in ways to support that line of thinking. </p><p>However, if you say, “I am weak” or “I am worthless”, this reflects your beliefs about yourself and negatively affects your motivation to behave in productive ways to change that belief system.</p><p>Choose your words carefully as they can make or break you.</p><p>If negative thoughts and/or words about yourself come to mind, bring out the proverbial eraser and replace it with something positive. Can’t find the positive? It’s a skill that can be learned and, if need be, feel free to reach out to a professional like myself to help you develop or fine tune that skill.</p><p>For example, add the word “yet”, i.e., “I can’t find anything positive about my life” to “I can’t find anything positive about my life yet.”. It’s a small change but it gives one hope that the circumstances can change. “Yet” is another small but powerful word.</p><p>Here’s another example: “I am my own worst enemy”. The replacement can be “it’s time I learn to be my best friend.” How? When was the last time you said a kind word to yourself? Can’t find anything kind to say? How would people who genuinely care about you describe you? This is a start in a positive direction.</p><p>Humans are not made to be perfect. </p><p>Nelson Mandela once said, “The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."</p><p>Speak powerfully about yourself. Say the words as if they were true. Breathe the words into your heart and soul.</p><p>If you believe you’re great, you will attempt great things. When you affirm, “I am strong”, you will evoke that within yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally.</p><p>Remember that words shape you in a powerful way.</p><p>Every day I want you to look in the mirror and speak positive “I am’s” to yourself but also take that next step and believe those words as they envelop your body and mind and cast out the negative ones.</p><p>Don’t let this power go to waste. You can write your affirmations and turn them into your own personal mantras.</p><p>You have a choice. You have options. You can speak into being what you want.</p><p>Say to yourself, “I am anything and everything I wanted”.</p><p>Be persistent. Change the “I can’ts” to “I cans”.</p><p>You can overcome anything. Mind over matter they say. If you believe and see it in your mind, you will make choices in that regard.</p><p>Thoughts are powerful. Thoughts lead to actions. Over time, actions become habits and habits lead to long lasting results.</p><p>If you want to learn how to be your own best friend, start with the thought “I am my own best advocate”, and continue on with statements such as, “I am confident”, “I am persistent”, “I am a survivor”, “I am the underdog they won’t see coming”, “I am an inspiration”, “I am resilient”, “I am a learner of life’s lessons”, I am proud of who I am as I am strong”. These are only a few examples but you can certainly expand on these.</p><p>Be powerful and transition into an “I am” state.</p><p>Now it’s time to take your place in the world of “I am” possibilities. </p><p>Own it!</p><div><br /></div>FranFranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272601475728113963noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3755525402364486285.post-25870180856994806662021-01-20T10:37:00.001-05:002021-01-20T10:37:15.005-05:00The Power of Why?<p><i>By Lesley Timbol</i></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja6Bva0DmV19MDvf6APOReTZi86BAaAAP5cfbbh5cgeJJlNldMthXkkGYGIfPFakYorbjVCcHRDqQPNlmwwJCN7nSkY-mgUNKZOqk3nr6oLV74EaV1yIAl7xqBLOE-5phHfKnfKPbx98Q/s1600/why+magnifying+glass.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="1600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja6Bva0DmV19MDvf6APOReTZi86BAaAAP5cfbbh5cgeJJlNldMthXkkGYGIfPFakYorbjVCcHRDqQPNlmwwJCN7nSkY-mgUNKZOqk3nr6oLV74EaV1yIAl7xqBLOE-5phHfKnfKPbx98Q/w640-h320/why+magnifying+glass.png" width="640" /></a></div><br /><i><br /></i><p></p><p>What makes you get up in the morning? I’m not talking about your alarm. What drives you? What motivates you?</p><p>Why is it important you know your why? It’s because if you want a life of happiness, fulfillment and success, you must find your purpose, aka your why.</p><p>Without knowing your purpose, you won’t know what drives you, what keeps you going in the tough times, what inspires you to improve.</p><p>When life throws you a curveball, when you’re met with an unexpected and intimidating obstacle, when nothing seems to be going “right”, when support can’t be found, when you make mistakes, when you feel overwhelmed, then what?</p><p>Your why will give you strength even when you feel like you don’t have the strength to get up anymore. Your why will give you the push and courage to do what’s uncomfortable.</p><p>Your why will help you face your fears and unknowns.</p><p>As an athlete, what makes you different from your competitors? What sets you apart from them? Why are you so important?</p><p>Your why helps define who you are and gives you a sense of your purpose in this stage of your life.</p><p>Somebody is waiting for you to mess up, to give up, to fail. Your why is your mental weapon against the “haters”, the “trolls”. Your why will help you fight when the doubters think you’re “out for the count”. Remember your reason, your why so it can drive you.</p><p>You don’t have to be an athlete to have a purpose. Is your purpose your family? Is it to prove someone wrong? Is it to prove yourself right? Is it to inspire others in similar situations?</p><p>Write down your purpose. Carry it with you. Say it out loud. Breathe that message into your body. Commit to yourself that you will live out your purpose with zero excuses.</p><p>What if you fall? What if you make a mistake and get off track? The true mistake is staying off track. What did you learn from that experience? That’s a lesson learned. Now dust yourself off and get back on track.</p><p>So the next time life challenges you, what are you going to do? Are you going to give up? Or will you make the moves to be successful?</p><p>Avoid looking back but rather remember where you came from and then focus on where and what you aspire to be. Recall your why.</p><p>If you don’t have a why yet, find something now that drives you. Something that no matter what happens, this why part of you doesn’t change. The drive doesn’t change. Your purpose doesn’t change. </p><p>Your purpose is something that lights a fire in you. It’s something you can be passionate about.</p><p>Some things in life you can’t change; you just have to live with it. But if you do have a choice, allow your purpose to help you make the right choice.</p><div><br /></div>FranFranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272601475728113963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3755525402364486285.post-2137643005141167442020-10-15T06:34:00.001-04:002020-10-15T06:34:38.142-04:00How to be your best friends in sports<p> <i>By Dr. Patrick Cohn at Peak Performance Sports, LLC.</i></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuSn-ZsdXKXSO-8VNzI-Jbi1Ilkd4OEHQkE2NFoQmzSF4zfq2fdNfV16RydSC36gU6Y1cYtINuspj8T2k1UXO3m7CDR-X-hZgU-1yPq3ZOob-n_tqjdEbl2rZkmO3UV_WXmWqwMed42g8/s282/Lucy+yelling.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="282" data-original-width="179" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuSn-ZsdXKXSO-8VNzI-Jbi1Ilkd4OEHQkE2NFoQmzSF4zfq2fdNfV16RydSC36gU6Y1cYtINuspj8T2k1UXO3m7CDR-X-hZgU-1yPq3ZOob-n_tqjdEbl2rZkmO3UV_WXmWqwMed42g8/w203-h320/Lucy+yelling.jpeg" width="203" /></a></div><p>Do you beat yourself up after competitions and only focus on your mistakes? Self criticism hurts an athlete but the effect of criticism is doubled when it comes from within the athlete’s mind.</p><p>Being self-critical is the quickest way to shatter confidence. Many times, athletes describe themselves as being their own biggest critic.</p><p>This mindset is viewed by some in a positive light meaning that this type of athlete pushes to be perfect and nothing less is sufficient. However self-criticism never pushes an athlete towards excellence.</p><p>Self-criticism post competition sends the message that you are not good enough and, no matter what you accomplish, that is not good enough either. </p><p>A lot of athletes destroy their confidence between competitions by being too judgemental. When they don’t perform up to their expectations, they tend to beat themselves up.</p><p>Rather than focussing on your mistakes, don’t take it home with you. Leave the competition on the stage/field/rink and transition. If you’re thinking about it all night, you’re taking that performance too personally. Give yourself 30-60 minutes tops to assess your performance and then move on.</p><p>Secondly, have a post game/show routine where you start to behave a bit differently after the competition. How? First step is to focus on what you did well. For instance, ask yourself what are two things you feel you did well? It’s important to focus on the positive first. </p><p>Step 2 is NOT focussing on your mistakes but rather learn and grow from your performance. It’s vitally important to keep your confidence from competition to competition and not destroy it afterwards. Try to do an honest, objective assessment of your performance. Use that information as a launch pad to know what you need to focus on in your next practice/prep. It’s about growing and getting better and then taking that to practice and applying that. Assess your performance in a way so that you can apply those lessons learned in future practices and competitions. That becomes an objective to improve that specific skill.</p><p> If you need guidance on how to become your own best friend in sports, please contact me at (416) 805-6155 or email me at lesley@timbol.ca so I can help you transition, determine the lessons learned and strategise for optimal performance.</p>FranFranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272601475728113963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3755525402364486285.post-57129241952561747112020-10-02T13:29:00.000-04:002020-10-02T13:29:02.000-04:00Prepare for the Unexpected<p><i>By Lesley Timbol (Adapted from Dr. Patrick Cohn at Peak Performance Sports, LLC.)</i></p><p>You’re told to capitalize on your strengths and work on your weaknesses. What if you don’t know about a weakness until it happens? What if that happens during a competition? How do you prepare for that? How do you react when the unexpected happens?</p><p>Does adversity put a damper on achieving your athletic goals or does it motivate you to find another way to keep momentum moving forward?</p><p>Not expecting speed bumps, roadblocks and obstacles is unrealistic. You shouldn't go through the season expecting the worst, but you need to be mentally flexible to handle the adversity when it unexpectedly pops up.</p><p>A popular saying is "expect the unexpected" but it is more important to be prepared for the unexpected.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="351" data-original-width="671" height="334" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0YTuuDhmTpi46UmVaTzcrjEjVV_PK0zKp7ApcPsOpoKXN_4Mp8qFPWzHzDYmqHPJFim8PW_YSKhcGSdwXpFcBgIfY7SWu7H8H5Xoz1kwb8VZhPqcSOtFNjHsQqQ-JzslomGOenMvXDDs/w640-h334/expect+the+unexpected+orange+onion.jpg" width="640" /></div><br /><p><br /></p><p>As long as you’re an athlete, you will face adversity. Gymnasts will fall in major competitions, softball and baseball players will suffer injuries, soccer goalies will give up last minute goals, hockey players will be caught out of position, bodybuilders will sabotage their diet or get injured.</p><p>Being prepared to act when the unexpected happens takes resilience, confidence, and mental toughness. How can you prepare for the unexpected?</p><p>Regardless of your sport, how do you react when things don’t go as planned? Can you recover quickly? Do you regroup or do you dwell on what is going “wrong”?</p><p>Like many things, recovering or regrouping is a skill that needs to be practised. Rather than “hoping for the best” and that everything goes optimally from every angle, accept this is a rarity. In other words, expect shit will happen. You don’t know what shit that will be but expect it. </p><p>And then you adapt. Like a chameleon changing to fit into his environment, be open to adapt to whatever changes have presented themselves. Accept there will be times you will struggle but be aware that the struggle isn’t the issue, it’s how quickly you recover from the struggle that’s important.</p><p>Do you have confidence in your preparation for your competition or game? Do a quick mental recap of what you did to prepare for this moment. Now how are you going to strike back? What are you going to do right now to regain control of the situation?</p><p>With practice, you can develop some “go to” actions to deal with unexpected adversities. Start by mentally formulating some hypothetical situations. Ask yourself how mentally tough athletes would respond in such challenging situations. What does that look like and how can you practise that skill? Quite often, these skills are applicable to a variety of situations which will enable you to move forward towards your athletic objective regardless of the obstacle.</p><p>If you need guidance on how to develop mental toughness and mental preparedness, please contact me at (416) 805-6155 or email me at lesley@timbol.ca so I can help provide you with the boost needed to meet and overcome the unexpected.</p>FranFranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272601475728113963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3755525402364486285.post-55805632156075495592020-09-21T07:19:00.000-04:002020-09-21T07:19:13.375-04:00Unleash the Beast<p>Enough is enough. It’s time. In fact, it’s way past time. Bodybuilders are foaming at the mouth to compete. Some of us have been in prep since the beginning of the year. And what a year it’s been with shows being cancelled or postponed to a later date and/or different location.</p><p>And for those bodybuilders who decided to compete next year and use this year to put on size, work on weaker areas, rehab, etc. good! You have a plan so stick to it!</p><p>Regardless of your decision, it’s time. Like a lion waiting in the long grass about to pounce on its prey, bodybuilders worldwide are training with a vengeance. Covid prevented many of us from training the way we’re used to but as gyms open up and athletes have invested in home gym equipment, it’s time to unleash the beast!</p><p>Perhaps many of us took training for granted but no more. Every training session is an opportunity. Avoid focusing on the gains you’ve missed as gyms were shut down or how behind you are. </p><p>Get your head back in the game. Focus on the now. Right here; right now. Before you even begin your physical training, engage in your mental training to block everything else out. Focus on the body part(s) you’re about to train. Focus on every rep, every set. If you get temporarily distracted, picture a stop sign and focus on what you should be doing right now.</p><p>The beast is hungry. Are you going to feed it? The beast wants iron. The beast wants healthy and proper macros. The beast wants repair and sleep. The beast is circling its prey. Do you have a strategy of attack?</p><p>With a glint and stare in your eyes, furrowing of your brow, snarl of your lip, tensing of your crouched body ready to spring, take what is yours!</p><p>It’s time.</p><p>Unleash the beast!</p><p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3TxFy4ylbOcaCbb8CZSWxG0xOxT-JQeOm69WiCkdIrYNytoYRf1kR2hweznWfnnr6ftzwNe2FuKz7u7-RbRQLZERcmVNZKA_i8hK4uDvUphZYz4Qvd3-JxxUwv7p6rYn6PuJVlp28wx0/s1200/lion+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1200" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3TxFy4ylbOcaCbb8CZSWxG0xOxT-JQeOm69WiCkdIrYNytoYRf1kR2hweznWfnnr6ftzwNe2FuKz7u7-RbRQLZERcmVNZKA_i8hK4uDvUphZYz4Qvd3-JxxUwv7p6rYn6PuJVlp28wx0/w640-h480/lion+2.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p></p>FranFranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272601475728113963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3755525402364486285.post-17930440828381974922020-09-07T07:10:00.001-04:002020-09-07T07:10:09.084-04:00Do you know how to do this?<p>Change. Many people talk about changing. Why? Because they want a different result. But change isn’t easy. You have to think about it. You have to plan what you’re going to do differently. The word change is associated with work and sometimes we’re just lazy.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDC_nJTwDmqlcWuDHyz7D1PiLkFphk-Uv0LE9CLuDs_Osp8XON0fjrQ84ptvUgBY6XlksmLjAuLyfMWmwn3sW1Lx5RjxYMIm_KyO9fqkwYFufTGzBHJQHKFf4Db2N8_s47sqNnE9J0j84/s620/old+new+image.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="413" data-original-width="620" height="520" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDC_nJTwDmqlcWuDHyz7D1PiLkFphk-Uv0LE9CLuDs_Osp8XON0fjrQ84ptvUgBY6XlksmLjAuLyfMWmwn3sW1Lx5RjxYMIm_KyO9fqkwYFufTGzBHJQHKFf4Db2N8_s47sqNnE9J0j84/w781-h520/old+new+image.jpg" width="781" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p><p>Do you know how to pivot? The word ‘pivot’ seems to sound less ominous. Pivoting indicates a slight movement in a different direction whereas change sounds like significant movement. In short, pivot takes less effort.</p><p>Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again yet expecting a different result. Yet getting a different result doesn’t have to involve big changes but rather small pivots in a different direction.</p><p>Maybe your life is good but are you settling? Could it be better? Sometimes people are afraid to pivot because they’re comfortable with where they’re at. It works for them to some degree. They’re even aware of the pitfalls but that seems okay rather than the unknown of what will happen if they do something differently.</p><p>Maybe there are areas in your life you’d like to improve upon but don’t know how. There are a few approaches to address the ‘how’, i.e., trial and error, google search, talk to others who have gone through it, and seek professional guidance and support.</p><p>Yet even if we want to change something, we still resist it even though we know it could help us. Why? Because any type of change, even a small pivot, takes effort. Somehow we want life to magically make our circumstances better when in reality it’s up to us to make different choices to get better results.</p><p>The next challenge is even if we commit to making the effort to change, we don’t know where to start. Remember to pivot and start small. For instance, if you haven’t worked out since Covid and have been emotionally eating, you can pivot by taking a short walk. If your gym has opened up, you can pack your gym bag and plan when you’re going to go.</p><p>The fear shouldn’t be trying to pivot; the fear should be what will happen if you don’t pivot? Nothing changes and that can be scary.</p><p>If you need assistance on how to pivot, please contact me at (416) 805-6155 or email me at lesley@timbol.ca so I can help you make changes in the right direction.</p>FranFranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272601475728113963noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3755525402364486285.post-27647492193707585132020-08-28T17:39:00.001-04:002020-08-28T17:39:15.190-04:00Do You Worry About What Others Think?<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-MWygLoRLV0PFea4JRCqe6Ah287WCrRHQGbJdy8VjkuHyxsgb4fAx-v8_AKxt2ZK5qJZ80umYvgCv6Ui43PAo619cLSamBVzHPQTDydLK9HdZ0bWrwIdTwWTMiW2igPgixWJg32BVMUo/s500/mind+reading.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="361" data-original-width="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-MWygLoRLV0PFea4JRCqe6Ah287WCrRHQGbJdy8VjkuHyxsgb4fAx-v8_AKxt2ZK5qJZ80umYvgCv6Ui43PAo619cLSamBVzHPQTDydLK9HdZ0bWrwIdTwWTMiW2igPgixWJg32BVMUo/s0/mind+reading.jpg" /></a></div><br />Many athletes worry too much about what others think of them. These athletes worry that their teammates, coaches, parents, family, sponsors, social media followers, and/or friends might think badly of them. We call this social approval.<p></p><p>If you think this way, you want to be admired, accepted, respected, or liked by other people. Part of this is just human nature, but it can turn into a confidence killer for many athletes.</p><p>Athletes who worry about what others think engage in a process called false “mind reading.” Mind reading is when you make invalid assumptions about what others might think of you.</p><p>When you think others think you are not performing well, this can hurt your confidence. You end up becoming distracted that can result in making mistakes or atleast sub par performance.</p><p>Do you try to read the minds of your competitors or coaches? Or take to heart the responses of your social media followers responding to your posts? </p><p>Focusing too much on what you think others think. That’s called mind reading. You don’t know for sure but you believe what you think as if it were true.</p><p>The truth is you don’t know what they’re actually thinking unless they say something to you. There’s a difference between guessing and actually knowing.</p><p>What does guessing what people are thinking do to your confidence? If you assume someone, e.g., coaches, audience, judges think you’re not doing well, it affects your performance, i.e., ability to pose, execute a move, etc.</p><p>Who are you mind reading about? What are you mind reading about? What are the false assumptions or the narrative you’re making up in your head that’s creating havoc for you?</p><p>Worrying what others think becomes a distraction, confidence killer, and a source of pressure when you do mind reading.</p><p>If you catch yourself worrying what others think, what do you do? Step 1 is awareness. When you become aware you’re mind reading, cut it off. Picture a stop sign. Step 2 is recognizing what you’re doing and refocus on doing what is more important, i.e., the next pose/transition/action.</p><p>If you need guidance on how to handle worrying about what others think, please contact me at (416) 805-6155 or email me at lesley@timbol.ca so I can help you refocus so you appear not to miss a beat on show/game day.</p>FranFranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272601475728113963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3755525402364486285.post-40440093032774202402020-08-21T14:09:00.001-04:002020-08-21T14:09:30.495-04:00No Mask Needed<p>No you don’t need a mask for this. Get out of your head! The “should’s”, “can’ts”, and the “buts” can stop any athlete in their tracks; however, you can change the verbage to I “will”, “can”, and “it will be done”.</p><p>How do you prepare athletes or how do athletes themselves prepare when they don’t know when or how they’ll be competing again? In times of uncertainty, it’s time to look at the “certains”.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAFrLMsDjSnba4MI_fObzAPMkYi8In4YKa3uOCJ31Ots7JOvpA8tqsdgZkFKBW4BsLD5bPhyzTkWifwlRweKgvMwDb6rBKghyCK2Oq3Vu_IAJmF2t_VjfjkI086SbtEW-OFF31g82Fuc0/s512/Mindul+or+Mind+Full.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="331" data-original-width="512" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAFrLMsDjSnba4MI_fObzAPMkYi8In4YKa3uOCJ31Ots7JOvpA8tqsdgZkFKBW4BsLD5bPhyzTkWifwlRweKgvMwDb6rBKghyCK2Oq3Vu_IAJmF2t_VjfjkI086SbtEW-OFF31g82Fuc0/s0/Mindul+or+Mind+Full.jpg" /></a></div><p><br /></p><p>Rather than focusing on what you cannot do, focus on what you DO know and CAN control. As an athlete, you DO know how to train, practise, eat, and prepare for a competition.</p><p>Mental skills training addresses various challenges to help you approach your show with focus and confidence, staying centred, setting routines, being mindful how you’re feeling when you’re training as well as during the rest of the day, properly dealing with the temptation to watch your competitors’ progress on social media, targeting self doubt, regaining control of your mind when it drifts to negative scenarios, and so on.</p><p>Look in the mirror. Like it or not, that’s what you have to work with. Like playing cards, you don’t need a loaded hand to do well. It’s all on how you strategically play your cards. Play them one at a time with planned thought. Focusing on what the other players may have is a distraction. </p><p>Take note of your competition’s strengths, as that is human, but move on from any distracting thoughts. Dwelling on others progress does more harm than good. Focus on your hand and play your cards to the best of your ability.</p><p>What if you’ve screwed up at a recent show? Are you banging your head against the wall as a form of punishment? Welcome to the world of competition; we all make mistakes. </p><p>The real question is what did you learn from that mistake? If you can strategize what you’d do differently the next time it happens, it no longer becomes a mistake; it becomes a lesson learned. And it’s likely a lesson you won’t forget.</p><p>I can recall one show, if not two, where afterwards I thought and said out loud that I was never going to compete again. And I did mean it at that time and for a while afterwards but then, my mind changed. </p><p>Why? After eating some carbs and reflecting on the situation, I recalled my reasons for competing. Yes I want to win. Who doesn’t? But to expect I’ll win at every show isn’t realistic. I do like a challenge and I reflect on my personal reasons for competing.</p><p>As competitive athletes, we make up the upper echelon of people. In other words, we’re not like normal people. We follow strict eating guidelines and training routines. We make sacrifices. Others may look at us and comment that we’re “crazy” for doing what we do. Maybe we are but we have a smile on our face and we choose to continue competing so it can’t be that bad. ;-)</p><p>Other people don’t walk in your shoes so avoid taking their words to heart. </p><p>I also invite you to unmask YOUR “should’s”, “can’ts”, “buts” and so on. You don’t need that mask of limitation. You’re an athlete. You’ve already broken various limitations and you will continue to do so.</p><p>Change your strategy. Learn from past mistakes and pivot in a new direction. Oftentimes that pivot takes us into an even better direction than our original plan.</p><p>Dominate.</p><p>Reformulate.</p><p>Persevere!</p><p>And embrace your inner, “I can/will”. If you need assistance in this area, please feel free to contact me at (416) 805-6155 and it will be done.</p><div><br /></div>FranFranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272601475728113963noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3755525402364486285.post-50583516863853970192020-08-07T13:49:00.000-04:002020-08-07T13:49:02.933-04:00Don't use this language<p>Words are powerful. Words are how we communicate to others as well as to ourselves. Have you listened lately to what you say to yourself? </p><p>When was the last time you called yourself a “failure”, “loser”, “fat”, “useless”, “pathetic”, “idiot” and so on? Sometimes we mutter under our breaths, i.e., with saying “I’m stupid”, when we make a mistake.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZNVRIPbhatDGS19ivPoBbbfA3Yjms6sJc8RdvAfKE5qGVRkJzlL7IEjBRmgluw5hWeeYQpKsCc8ZdhE-yU96l7ny3GlsSttXdDkI3mewA-2KyhsY9BdFg-w4r3H_CmUFXnxKrGiqMuCI/s1024/choose+your+words.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0px;"><img border="0" data-original-height="768" data-original-width="1024" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZNVRIPbhatDGS19ivPoBbbfA3Yjms6sJc8RdvAfKE5qGVRkJzlL7IEjBRmgluw5hWeeYQpKsCc8ZdhE-yU96l7ny3GlsSttXdDkI3mewA-2KyhsY9BdFg-w4r3H_CmUFXnxKrGiqMuCI/s640/choose+your+words.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p>Don’t use this language! Not only is it not accurate but this language negatively affects our self-confidence (our ability to complete a task) and self-esteem (how we feel about ourselves).</p><p>What if this negative self-talk, what we say about ourselves to ourselves, comes out before we can stop it? Then correct yourself even if it’s after the fact. For instance, as you’re walking on a path, you trip and call yourself “stupid”</p><p>I was showing my kids how to use some weight equipment and they asked how much weight I could do so I did a set. They exclaimed, “you make it look so easy” and referred to themselves as “weak”. I informed them I’ve been weight training for many years so I wasn’t born this way. Everyone has a starting point and if they continue working out they will only get stronger.</p><p>Another example is when I invited my kids to do a drop set doing bicep curls. My daughter gave me that “teenage look” and said “you suck”. That kind of language made me smile because I knew she was going to do the drop set despite not liking it. And she still loved me afterwards so all is good … until the next time I practise tough love. </p><p>Getting back to the negative self-talk. How do you change it? How do you stop yourself from calling yourself names, putting yourself down, or never being happy with the way you look (both the general public and bodybuilders)?</p><p>The solution is to talk back to the negative side but use logic, facts. Once you’re aware you’re using negative self-talk, get real! Ask yourself what fact are you basing that thought/feeling on? If there is some truth to it, then ask yourself what can you do to change that truth? For instance, if you’re calling yourself “fat”, strategize or hire a coach for direction and accountability to work on fat loss.</p><p>When was the last time you did the word balance game? This is finding the positive ‘spin’ to a negative thought. I’ll use myself as an example. I’m stubborn (yes that’s a fact) but oftentimes stubborn is seen as a negative trait. My positive spin on being stubborn is being relentless, persistent. I don’t give up. I may need to change my direction but I keep going.</p><p>If you’re struggling dealing with your negative self-talk, please contact me at (416) 805-6155 or email me at lesley@timbol.ca so I can coach you on strategies that squash that talk.</p><p> </p>FranFranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272601475728113963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3755525402364486285.post-77069422146562353502020-07-27T10:07:00.001-04:002020-07-27T10:07:17.377-04:00Negotiation isn’t always a good thing<div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhBpaePrIgbiBO9rAl_uwcL0qsIypsjM_4lXKs6waLJjPdvFRBlEtL4n0-hqXTpc6BOHrC8MoZzkJUsm-ggJPrDlRFtwGqi-nG0kMCkxbzRe8p42MUeA7GXKyb2Fyiq-xP3I0dU5CKa3w/s760/yoda.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="398" data-original-width="760" height="329" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhBpaePrIgbiBO9rAl_uwcL0qsIypsjM_4lXKs6waLJjPdvFRBlEtL4n0-hqXTpc6BOHrC8MoZzkJUsm-ggJPrDlRFtwGqi-nG0kMCkxbzRe8p42MUeA7GXKyb2Fyiq-xP3I0dU5CKa3w/w625-h329/yoda.jpeg" width="625" /></a></div>We are taught that we can’t get our way all the time so sometimes we have to negotiate. The idea behind negotiation is that both sides get something out of the deal so no one side “wins” and the other side “loses”.</div><div><br /></div><div>However, negotiation isn’t always a good thing. Sometimes negotiation is a form of procrastination. </div><div><br /></div><div>Have you ever thought when your life gets better, easier, more manageable only then you’ll be able to achieve a task? If “x” happens, you’ll do “y”.</div><div><br /></div><div>For example, have you negotiated with yourself that when the gyms reopen, you can get back to your routine by working out regularly and getting back on a better nutrition plan? </div><div><br /></div><div>Or have you negotiated to return to the gym only when you can lose some of the weight gained over the COVID-19 shut down? This may be the result of feeling embarrassed having other gym going “regulars” see your unflattering pandemic transformation.</div><div><br /></div><div>The theme is the same regardless of the example. Wait before taking action. That is a form of procrastination. And we can be so good at finding more excuses to delay taking action.</div><div><br /></div><div>Why are you waiting to give yourself permission to start now? Is it fear? Do you doubt your ability to follow through on your intended action? Are you worried about how others may view your attempts?</div><div><br /></div><div>Stop this vicious cycle! Give yourself permission to take action right now. Yes I mean this very second! It can be a small step. If your intended action is getting on a healthier path, a step could be drinking more water, creating a healthy food plan for the day or the week, planning your first gym workout, i.e., exercises, sets, reps, and so on. </div><div><br /></div><div>Think of this time leading up to the gyms reopening as your warm-up so to speak to get you ready for “go time” in the gym. Plan a bodyweight circuit or at least a 4 minute tabata to do tomorrow if you don’t have any weight equipment. Go on Youtube for ideas if needed.</div><div><br /></div><div>The time is now. Now is what we have control over. Now is what we can change. Now is the time to decide to do something.</div><div><br /></div><div>As Yoda says, “do or do not, there is no try”.</div><div><br /></div>FranFranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272601475728113963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3755525402364486285.post-49572184978517916642020-07-17T13:53:00.001-04:002020-07-17T13:53:48.129-04:00Are You On An Emotional Rollercoaster?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Ever feel like your emotions are all over the place especially because of this pandemic, now with 5 months of uncertainty? Will there ever be a vaccine? If we get a vaccine, how long will it last? I hear there’s a second wave of COVID coming, what can we expect and how do we prepare for it? How long is this going to last? Questions, questions, and more questions without answers will definitely bring an onslaught of emotions.<br />
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As an athlete, we question whether or not the competition for which we’re preparing will go on. The uncertainty itself can affect an athlete’s motivation, practise, performance, routine, and consistency. What has habitually started as excitement in the preparation stages can dip into discouragement, doubt, and disappointment as shows/games are being cancelled. A further dip of “why bother” leads to a mindset of giving up.<br />
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So now is the point of asking yourself do you prepare solely for a competition or is there something more? If there isn’t, you need to look for more intrinsic reasons for why you compete. There needs to be a reason beyond the winning. Recall not everyone can win and many athletes can relate to prepping, not winning a show/competition yet prepping again. So theoretically, if you compete only to win, that would mean if you lost you wouldn’t compete or you would burn yourself out by trying and feel horrible if you never won.<br />
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Consider the concept of winning but with that intrinsic motivation I brought up earlier. Do you love to train? What feeling does that give to you that you enjoy? What benefits do you achieve from practising/training? What is it about the competition experience that helps you grow?<br />
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Now return to the rollercoaster of emotions. What if you were able to ride out the highs as well as the lows? What if you remained focused, in control no matter what happens? The “why bother” would shift to “oh well; time to get back to work”. Stay calm. Even and despite the pandemic, keep training to build on your strengths and strengthen your weaknesses. Then take it to a more challenging level and create mini challenges for yourself to keep yourself interested and engaged.<br />
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If left unchecked, riding the emotional rollercoaster can make an athlete lose their determination, drive, focus, and energy. They often react with fear and doubt which affects their routines, motivation and confidence.<br />
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Learning how to respond to various stressors requires resiliency. Do you have a stubborn bone in your body? Good! It’s time to use it to bounce back after any type of setback or obstacle. Like working on a specific skill or body part you wish to improve, it is important to work on how you react to both positive and negative outcomes. Can you remain calm, cool, and collected? This requires mental training. You can’t control everything but you can control how you respond and your experience will be better if you accept what comes, good or bad. Easier said than done. It’s converting that roller coaster into a kiddie version so you can manage your emotions better.<br />
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How do you do that? Practise practise practise! Practise accepting what comes, good or bad. You can try using a universal response as a starting point. For example, you can use the “that’s interesting” response. Regardless if you’ve had a positive or negative experience, point out to yourself the positive of that experience in a matter of fact voice tone. What did you learn? What can you improve upon? What will you do next time? This process helps to depersonalize your feelings from the outcome.<br />
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Secondly, enjoy the process of practising and training. Enjoy and remind yourself of the positive aspects of the athlete lifestyle. Make a game with yourself by making mini improvements within your physical practice. This process can help you learn to enjoy the process more than the outcome (from the show/competition). Think of all the athletes who still train to some extent despite retiring from the game.<br />
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It is absolutely fine to be competitive, motivated, and enjoy celebrating your wins but avoid attaching yourself to them. Break that connection by depersonalizing your experiences (both positive and negative) with practised, planned responses, be intrinsically motivated, stay calm, be resilient, and have fun challenging yourself to stay motivated and engaged with mini goals.<br />
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What are you waiting for? Get back to it! 😁💪<br />
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FranFranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272601475728113963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3755525402364486285.post-80779330945423161382020-07-10T14:56:00.003-04:002020-07-10T14:56:30.132-04:00Expectations On Returning To The Gym<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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FINALLY! After what seems like an eternity, the gyms are going to reopen soon and some have already. We have been anxiously waiting for this moment. Perhaps there is a gleam in your eye, a spring in your step, an eager I-want-to-kill-it-in-the-gym snarl on your face. Regardless, we are ready!<br />
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But we need to adjust our expectations. There will be a new norm because of COVID-19: being extra diligent with cleaning the equipment before and/or after use, washing hands, not touching your face, and potentially booking training times to reduce the number of members training at the same time to give everyone space to name just a few considerations. Booking a training time may be a challenge especially if you train more than an hour. Yet what’s a bodybuilder to do when they only have a one hour training window? Does that mean if you can’t train the way you want, don’t train at all? Not at all but it does require you to adjust what you expect, given the circumstances, to accomplish when you’re in the gym. You may need to plan which exercises you do at the gym and which exercises you do afterwards, i.e., in the parking lot, at home, in your backyard, etc. Not ideal but it’s better than nothing. Learning to mentally accept, not like, this fact will help you be in a positive head space when training. The alternative is to focus on what you can’t do in the gym and this negative mindset can affect your performance both physiologically and mentally.<br />
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Another adjustment to our expectations involves returning to the gym but not returning to the weights we lifted prior to COVID-19. Unless you had access to a good gym during the lockdown period, it is not realistic to resume with the same weights. If you choose to do so, injury is a high probability because your ligaments and tendons haven’t been exposed to that training load in awhile. Remember it has been a good 2 months so start slow and gradually increase the weight over the coming weeks. In fact, ensure the first set or two is a ‘doable’ weight before increasing it. Focus on that mind muscle connection. Your body doesn’t know what you’re lifting/pushing/pulling; it only knows the degree of resistance. Other suggestions would involve doing more warm-up sets to better assess your current training tolerance, avoid training to failure for the first week or so as the purpose right now is to get reacquainted with the weights so use variety, i.e., dumbbells, barbells, cables, machines, and stretch! Stretching should be done after every training session and it would be reasonable to assume you may be tighter in certain areas (for me it is my hip flexors) over the lockdown.<br />
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Check your ego at the door, manage your expectations, train smart and be safe!<br />
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FranFranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272601475728113963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3755525402364486285.post-50416323993024420832020-07-03T10:39:00.002-04:002020-07-03T10:39:18.495-04:00Don’t Waste Your PainPain is part of life. You don’t have to like it but you can benefit from it. Arnold Schwarzenegger said the following: “pain makes me grow; growing is what I want; therefore, for me pain is pleasure.” While this can be true with physical training it can also be applied to our mental interpretation of pain. Michael Jordan stated “failure gave me strength; pain was my motivation.” Losing a game or not performing as expected on game/show day can defeat you or it can catapult you to an even grittier level of focus and determination. At the time though, the pain may overtake your ability to see through it. The idea that you might one day be grateful for your hurt and disappointment seems unthinkable.<br />
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Think of a puzzle. We cannot see the big picture for our lives. On the front of the puzzle box, we can see what the overall puzzle picture is supposed to look like. But when you look at one piece, you may be at a loss figuring out where it goes, how it fits. As in life, when something negative happens, we often ask ourselves “why?” “Why did this have to happen?” The painful situation/event doesn’t make sense, i.e., you trained hard, stuck to your diet, tried to get as much rest as possible, stayed hydrated and so on but despite your best efforts, your efforts were not rewarded.<br />
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Now how do you define “rewarded”? Does “rewarded” mean winning your category, scoring the winning shot or the most shots in the game, or running the fastest time, i.e., being rewarded is correlated with your end results? That is one definition but if that is your only definition, you are setting yourself up for pain without the gain. The gain is what did you learn from that experience? In order to grow from a painful experience, you need to focus your mind on looking for the lesson, as this will enable you to take your power back. The next step is to take action! What can you fine tune and/or do differently next time to obtain more optimal results? By learning and doing things differently, you can transform your pain into motivation, drive, unrelenting focus, and ultimately breakthroughs.<br />
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Throughout our lives, we may not understand when negative things happen to us. What we do know is how we feel about it: sad, angry, disappointed, frustrated, pain. Yet we always have a choice. Even in our pain we have a choice to make. We get to decide whether we will take the opportunity and grow or whether we will let it consume us.<br />
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Pain changes us. How the pain changes you is up to you. You can come out bitter or defeated or come out better, stronger, and more confident. That difficulty is an opportunity to get stronger, to develop character, to gain new confidence. Anybody can give up but that pain isn’t there to stop you; it’s an opportunity to learn, do things differently and make breakthroughs.<br />
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All of us go through pain. Don’t just go through it, grow through it!<br />
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FranFranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272601475728113963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3755525402364486285.post-30468491432852432792020-06-26T12:23:00.001-04:002020-06-26T12:23:14.021-04:00Feeling Like a Failure?These types of feelings suck! And the problem is the negative self-talk we have with ourselves multiplies faster than rabbits. Now what? How do we stop feeling this way? We don’t want to but when we don’t feel motivated, compare our current lack of accomplishments with our past accomplishments, compare ourselves to others, feel like we can’t do anything right, and so on, we can feel like a failure and hopeless about our situation. Can that change?<br />
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Let’s look at the definition of failure. Do you define failure as not accomplishing a goal/task or is it more not even attempting to accomplish that goal/task? This author advocates the latter definition: giving up. While it’s common not to complete a goal, the issue lies with the person feeling like a failure because they interpret their action/inaction as their identity. Take for instance a bodybuilder competing and not winning the overall to get their Pro card. Are they as a person a failure? Many may believe so but I respectfully disagree. That bodybuilder failed at their goal of earning their Pro card but that does not make them, as a person, a failure.<br />
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Consider the scenario of a bodybuilder who wins their category yet still feels like they are “not good enough” or downplay their success. Likewise, there are bodybuilders who don’t earn their Pro card or don’t win at the higher level Pro shows but are very successful individuals.<br />
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So how should you feel when you don’t achieve your goal? You can feel disappointed, frustrated, confused, and perhaps even angry as you have a right to your feelings but avoid taking it personally. Not achieving your goals is simply that; not achieving your goals. Nothing more; nothing less. Now you may need to re-examine your goal and make appropriate adjustments but keep in mind the purpose of your goal. Is your purpose extrinsic, i.e., to get sponsored, or intrinsic, i.e., to challenge yourself on how you can change your body over a set period of time? Intrinsic motivation is healthier because it’s about your self-growth; it’s for you. Often people fall into the trap of doing things to please others and that becomes their main source of motivation. These “people pleasers” struggle with feeling successful as it’s determined too much on what other people think. Do these types of people have any recourse? Absolutely!<br />
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There is a concept called self acceptance and forgiveness. Often, we suck at this too but it can be done. A first step is rewiring our brains about what failure means. I can’t quote where I read this but it’s very fitting: “I will have temporary defeats in my life but I will never have permanent failure.” This statement alone gives us an “out” in that we don’t have to be perfect; we don’t have to win all the time. We just need to know how to pivot our goal, our mindset, our assumptions, our definitions, our methods as we always have the power of choice. Don’t give up! If you need help, reach out to a professional. They can help you develop a healthier mindset, one that will lead you to more actionable success and feelings of accomplishment.<br />
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Difficult situations can define us, diminish us, or develop us but we ultimately decide so choose well.<br />
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FranFranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272601475728113963noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3755525402364486285.post-78393721150763950802020-06-19T07:24:00.003-04:002020-06-19T07:24:55.427-04:00Post-Traumatic Growth: The New Norm after COVID-19COVID-19 has shaken our ways of knowing and doing things to the core. Feelings can range from helplessness, shock, denial and disbelief. Our behaviours can be affected as well, i.e., getting easily confused, having difficulty focussing, and experiencing insomnia. Coping reactions can range from identifying with various possible negative outcomes to feeling detached. The question most often asked is “What is wrong with me?” Be aware that reaction is normal given the circumstances of an abnormal situation created by this pandemic but there are ways to transcend the negativity and feelings of helplessness.<br />
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We’re living through a collective trauma, but we don’t have to bow under its weight. Think of an earthquake. Do you live beneath the debris or do you build something that is better? Trauma’s power comes from rendering us powerless. It’s time to retake our power. How? The answer is reframing! By reframing your negative experiences as ways to achieve greater self-awareness and heightened compassion and deeper/more meaningful relationships both with others as well as with yourself. Post-traumatic growth is finding new meaning in your life. This could include changing how you conduct your business, changing your career, having a renewed appreciation for life and developing a plan on how you will try various opportunities, reconnecting with people after years of not communicating, learning a new skill or hobby, re-evaluating your short and/or long term goals, giving back to society in some way, and so on.<br />
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There is the expression to make lemonade out of lemons. Despite the sacrifices and/or suffering we endure, we can ask ourselves how can we emerge from this pandemic stronger and kinder than before?<br />
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I will end with a quote by Robert Leahy, PhD., New York-Presbyterian/Weill Cornell Medical Center: “‘view this pandemic as a chapter in a book you are writing - chapters always end and if this is your book then how it plays out is totally up to you.”<br />
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Happy writing!<br />
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FranFranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272601475728113963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3755525402364486285.post-90639880390699172632020-06-12T08:14:00.001-04:002020-06-12T08:14:47.435-04:00Lagging body part = your mindPeople in general can be their own worst enemy and bodybuilders are no exception. We tend to be very aware of our flaws but do we do everything we can to address these flaws? Let’s examine that.<br />
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If I were to ask a bodybuilder what’s their weakest/lagging body part, they could name it immediately. If I were to ask a bodybuilder whether or not they have been eating on plan, they could answer that quickly too. If I conducted a poll among bodybuilders about what they struggle with the most during their competition prep, many reply that the mental piece is tougher than the physical piece. The physical piece of what to eat, how much & when as well as their training regiment is more ‘black or white’ in that it’s more clear cut; however, the mental piece holds a lot of grey.<br />
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Mentally preparing for a show has many challenges in the best of circumstances but add lower carbs & calories and feeling depleted into the mix and the ability to think clearly and rationally tends to decrease and we tend to gravitate towards ‘emotional logic’. The problem is that logic is usually missing from ‘emotional logic’, which can consist of listening to people who are not your coach (assuming they are knowledgeable & competent), following what other athletes are doing based on what you see on social media, comparing your current progress to others who post on social media, etc. Emotional logic focuses on where you’re not and being open to ‘doing whatever it takes’ to get the result you want. That desperation can lead to making choices that hinder more than help.<br />
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Now there is an element of logic in seeing what you need to do to improve. A lagging body part can be addressed with adjusting your training and likewise a diet can be adjusted based on your current macros and putting them in line with your goals. If you need help with either scenario, you can and should consult with your coach. Similarly, I recommend you work with a mental game coach to help you if you struggle with the mental aspects of prep. This can include but is not limited to doubting your prep, coach, and/or exercise/diet plan, doubting your progress and worrying that you won’t be ready on show day, fearing that you won’t be “good enough” especially if you know you’ll be competing against someone who has beaten you in the past or even just comparing yourself to the pics on social media, overtraining, training after an injury, difficulty dealing with distractions (e.g., relationship issues, Covid-19), overanalysing everything, fearing letting others down, and the list goes on.<br />
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Like preparing for a competition, mental prep does not begin during peak week. It’s a process in that it takes time to learn how to exercise the mind properly. To get what you’ve always gotten, keep doing what you’re doing. If you want to improve your mental game, work with someone who has expertise in this area to guide you on proven strategies to elevate your performance and results.<br />
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FranFranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272601475728113963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3755525402364486285.post-44517152450039312692020-06-03T10:35:00.004-04:002020-06-03T10:35:13.720-04:00Crisis: What’s Your Move?What is a crisis? The dictionary cites a crisis as “a time of intense difficulty, trouble, or danger.” That does not sound good. The pandemic is one such example but there are many others. We don’t want to feel stressed; it doesn’t feel good and can be debilitating. We often ask ourselves why this (crisis/issue) had to happen? We assume no good can come from it. Or can it?<br />
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Do we choose difficulty? No. Can we grow from difficulties? Yes. Our experiences, both positive and negative, help shape who we are, our thoughts, how we view the world, our choices, etc. Problems make us grow; they mold us into who we are today.<br />
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We have a choice: are we a victim or a victor? Despite the crisis and the associated fallouts, do we allow ourselves to become buried or do we slowly push the rubble aside to make a new path? In this respect, a crisis can be viewed as an opportunity. Without the problem, there would be no need to change what we’re doing and sometimes we settle for where we are rather than push ourselves to achieve our potential. Thus, the problem is a gift, an opportunity to do something different and thereby experience different results.<br />
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Our entire life can change in one moment. Do you know how to pivot towards positive change? Ask yourself what is one area in your life that needs improvement? What do you need to do or change to make that happen? Are you committed to going outside of your comfort zone, what you are used to doing? If you keep doing what you have been doing, can you get to where you want to go? If not, what are your obstacles? How can you begin to address these obstacles? What is one thing you can do right now to take one step closer to where you want to be? Make a decision to take action now. It doesn’t have to be a big step. The action could be drafting a concrete plan of action.<br />
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Life involves many hardships, and while we may not choose them, we can choose how we respond to them. Life isn’t about what happens to us; life is about what happens for us. No change? No breakthroughs.<br />
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Now get out of your head and comfort zone and make lemonade out of lemons. The choice and opportunity awaits you so take it!<br />
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FranFranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272601475728113963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3755525402364486285.post-24297546702164639262020-05-27T16:00:00.002-04:002020-05-27T16:00:33.986-04:00How To Cope With Plateaus During COVID-19?Have you hit a plateau? Do you lack motivation? Are you eating out of boredom? Guess what? You’re not alone but that doesn’t mean you can’t change that. How? Recall what you did pre-pandemic. What did you do to overcome a plateau or get motivated? Much of the time it helps to be accountable to someone. This could include connecting with a coach online, a friend, someone in your household but basically you’re looking for an accountability partner.<br />
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Do you ever feel like your goals/intentions are crashing? When my computer crashes, I do a reboot and similarly when we feel like we’re crashing we need to reboot, specifically reboot our mind. We do this by changing things up, i.e., if you’ve set goals and haven’t been able to follow them, change the goal and make it smaller, more attainable. For example, if you haven’t worked out or even walked due to a lack of energy and/or motivation, mentally gear yourself up to do a 4 minute tabata, which consists of 20 seconds of ‘work’, i.e., burpees followed by 10 seconds of marching in place. Repeat that for a total of 4 minutes and remember to stretch afterwards. This doesn’t seem as daunting because it’s only 4 minutes and you don’t need any equipment as the ‘work’ is based on high intensity body exercises. Another example could be slowly increasing your daily water intake. One small achievement can lead to more achievements which can increase your motivation.<br />
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They say positivity breeds positivity so if you’re feeling down, surround yourself with positive, motivating people. This can be following someone you respect through their podcasts, posts, and the like. We are not too old to learn; it’s more a matter of if we’re willing to try something new. Often, we feel ‘stuck’ as we keep repeating what we have been doing expecting a different result; yes that’s the definition of insanity. Even at home, we have social media to selectively choose positive individuals or even groups, i.e., Facebook, to read their experiences and how they actioned solutions for their struggles. We are not islands. We are on a planet called Earth so feel free to seek out positive fellow human beings for inspiration.<br />
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As humans, we are social creatures. Not all the time mind you but we value interactions and without the social interactions given COVID-19, this is a missing piece to our well being. A temporary solution is to reach out to others on a regular basis, i.e., to check on them and to have some form of connection with people outside of your home. For people outside of our home, this could be through calling them, text, email, social media chats, videoconferencing, and so on. If you are not alone at home, it can be irritating to be together all the time but try a bit harder to be thoughtful and patient. This is a trying time for most people if not everyone to some degree. Nerves will fray which is to be expected given the circumstances. Keep in mind the bigger picture: we are not alone.<br />
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In coping with plateaus, consider getting an accountability partner, reboot with smaller goals, surround yourself / connect with positive people, reach out and connect with others, adjust your expectations of those living in your household, and be kind whenever you can.<br />
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FranFranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272601475728113963noreply@blogger.com0